Not to justify committing crimes, but this is one of the all-time great excuses for a robbery.
18-year-old Zachary Torrance of Hueytown, Alabama was arrested last week for robbing four different Subway locations in four days.
And when the cops finally tracked him down, he said he did it because he’d tried the JARED DIET, it didn’t work, and he was upset . . . so he wanted his money back.
In case somehow you’ve forgotten, Jared Fogle is the chubby guy who lost a ton of weight about 15 years ago by eating two Subway sandwiches every day. And he’s been in 17 billion commercials since.
Zachary has been charged with first-degree robbery. He’s about six feet tall and 200 pounds, so we’re not sure why he was trying so hard to lose weight . . . but I guess everyone has their own health ideals.
Q Force Monkey
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